We Are Not Meant To Be Lone Rangers
Today I wrote a letter to an ex-JC classmate. We haven't been in contact for some time now and also seldom meet up. Even when we do meet up, it would be something like once in 6 months. I wrote to her because I lost her handphone number recently when I did my phone trade-in. Apparently, the contacts in my phone memory did not go along with the transfer. I know my friend's number by heart but it was only a week before the phone trade-in that she sms me to say she changed number. I couldn't memorise her new number in time, so wrote to ask for her number again, as well as to re-establish connection with her. Praying that she will reply me by tomorrow or Wed. :)
Writing letters and cards was something that I loved doing in my secondary school and JC days. In those days where email wasn't available or not as popular, I would write letters and cards and either pass them personally to a few of my classmates or post them to friends who do not study in the same school as me. Sometimes, I wrote for the fun of writing and included real, silly stuff and jokes in my letters. At other times, they were meant to be an encouragement to people.
In my old church, when I was still a young believer, was new to most people and had little friends, I thought I could survive on my own and just be a lone ranger. Also, because that is a family church, and because I had my parents, my brother, and all my uncles and aunties and cousins from my father's side attending the same church, I thought I could just mingle around with a few girls that I was more comfortable with and do nothing else to build relationships. To a certain extent, I was very shy, very afraid to mix around with people, and lacked self-confidence. Yet, I felt that there was pride in me. Too proud to realise that I needed to change my attitude. Just because I felt shy and fearful, I allowed those feelings to limit me from stepping out to interact with people. As time went by, I felt lonely. And because I felt lonely, and felt that no one came to talk to me, I thought that the people around me didn't like me. I thought that they would rather shun me rather than include me. So whenever I passed by somebody whom I really wished would come to talk to me, I would clam up and avoid eye contact with the person and go away feeling very sad. I would rather let the person think that I am cold than risk being rejected. Yet, what I didn't realise was that, I was indulging in self-rejection -- thinking and being convinced by myself that others did not like me and thus acting in a manner as though it were true. Until one day, a sister-in-Christ gently told me that I needed to be more open and talk to people, otherwise people will think that I am a haughty person and not come near me. So, in 1996, before the beginning of a youth camp, I wrote a letter to a girl who was 1 year younger than me just to make friends with her. I chose to write to her because I felt that out of all the youths there, she seemed most approachable. And just a few days later, on the first day of the camp, she passed me a handwritten letter! In it, she also encouraged me to be more open, and said that she is most willing to know me more too... and through her, my circle of friends expanded as I soon came to know and interact with the other youths in the camp. I became happier, and gradually made really good friends in life. That taught me a valuable lesson in life: that in order to have friends, I must first be a friend! :) Which is what God teaches in the Bible too. :) And we are definitely not meant to be lone rangers in life.
Nowadays, I seldom write letters anymore, because email is so convenient, and email helps us save on postage. What's more, with MSN and Friendster, we only need to send messages to one another over the internet. But I still think it is nice to write or receive a letter once in a while.
In the later part of the day, I went out with an NUS friend, Liling, at Raffles Place. Both of us took the same Maths module "Linear Algebra" during the 2nd semester of our first year. Her Mandarin is super good, diction very crisp and clear... and she loves period drama serials and novels, and KTV. We sat down over dinner just to catch up with each other. And after dinner when we were window shopping around Raffles Place, she treated me to Mr Bean's soya bean-flavoured ice cream! Thank you Liling! So nice of you... It was delicious! So sweet and creamy... hope to eat it again! :)
Writing letters and cards was something that I loved doing in my secondary school and JC days. In those days where email wasn't available or not as popular, I would write letters and cards and either pass them personally to a few of my classmates or post them to friends who do not study in the same school as me. Sometimes, I wrote for the fun of writing and included real, silly stuff and jokes in my letters. At other times, they were meant to be an encouragement to people.
In my old church, when I was still a young believer, was new to most people and had little friends, I thought I could survive on my own and just be a lone ranger. Also, because that is a family church, and because I had my parents, my brother, and all my uncles and aunties and cousins from my father's side attending the same church, I thought I could just mingle around with a few girls that I was more comfortable with and do nothing else to build relationships. To a certain extent, I was very shy, very afraid to mix around with people, and lacked self-confidence. Yet, I felt that there was pride in me. Too proud to realise that I needed to change my attitude. Just because I felt shy and fearful, I allowed those feelings to limit me from stepping out to interact with people. As time went by, I felt lonely. And because I felt lonely, and felt that no one came to talk to me, I thought that the people around me didn't like me. I thought that they would rather shun me rather than include me. So whenever I passed by somebody whom I really wished would come to talk to me, I would clam up and avoid eye contact with the person and go away feeling very sad. I would rather let the person think that I am cold than risk being rejected. Yet, what I didn't realise was that, I was indulging in self-rejection -- thinking and being convinced by myself that others did not like me and thus acting in a manner as though it were true. Until one day, a sister-in-Christ gently told me that I needed to be more open and talk to people, otherwise people will think that I am a haughty person and not come near me. So, in 1996, before the beginning of a youth camp, I wrote a letter to a girl who was 1 year younger than me just to make friends with her. I chose to write to her because I felt that out of all the youths there, she seemed most approachable. And just a few days later, on the first day of the camp, she passed me a handwritten letter! In it, she also encouraged me to be more open, and said that she is most willing to know me more too... and through her, my circle of friends expanded as I soon came to know and interact with the other youths in the camp. I became happier, and gradually made really good friends in life. That taught me a valuable lesson in life: that in order to have friends, I must first be a friend! :) Which is what God teaches in the Bible too. :) And we are definitely not meant to be lone rangers in life.
Nowadays, I seldom write letters anymore, because email is so convenient, and email helps us save on postage. What's more, with MSN and Friendster, we only need to send messages to one another over the internet. But I still think it is nice to write or receive a letter once in a while.
In the later part of the day, I went out with an NUS friend, Liling, at Raffles Place. Both of us took the same Maths module "Linear Algebra" during the 2nd semester of our first year. Her Mandarin is super good, diction very crisp and clear... and she loves period drama serials and novels, and KTV. We sat down over dinner just to catch up with each other. And after dinner when we were window shopping around Raffles Place, she treated me to Mr Bean's soya bean-flavoured ice cream! Thank you Liling! So nice of you... It was delicious! So sweet and creamy... hope to eat it again! :)
posted by Sabrina at 11:59 PM
2 Comments:
I love to write letters too!! In my old church, I used to write and receive letters from my clique of girls.. 1 letter to and from each sister every week! It built us our friendships, and we were able to understand what everyone is going through, even those things we found it hard to say it out.
Now, seldom write le.. but still write now and then.. :) I think blogs are very much similar to that concept! Every time I read your blog, I feel I am reading a letter from you about your life.. hee...
hee.. ya, letters and blogs really help us stay connected with one another and help us know more about one another's lives too... i'm glad i started blogging :)
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